


Across the Seven Seas

by orphan_account



Category: 1917 (Movie 2019)
Genre: 1960s, Dreamsharing, Graphic Description, Implied/Referenced Schizophrenia, M/M, Memories, Mutual Pining, Past, Past Character Death, Past Lives, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-World War I, Rebirth, Slow Burn, not very historically accurate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26162779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When his eyes flutter open he feels nothing but warmth. He then sees that familiar man over him with the most broken face one can make, so beautifully in pain--saying something but it's silenced by the strong sounds of the blue current.And then he wakes up.
Relationships: Tom Blake/William Schofield
Kudos: 3





	Across the Seven Seas

**Author's Note:**

> I don't completely understand psychiatry or psychology due to lack of information on the internet at the moment so there may be many mistakes or just a few so please don't not take this "information" of schizophrenia too seriously. Those out there diagnosed with it are given my thanks for being strong! Please stay well out there!

When Tom closes his eyes he pretends he's at home, in bed--and not around his brother or mother, or the ladies who sit near the stores and pull his cheek quite painfully. It's lovely when he's capable of doing just that, silence killing all the worry he's experienced in the last few months.

Unfortunately, he's pulled back into reality by his mother whose hands are covering her gasps, the other hand griping his shoulder too tightly that he winces (he's sure that she's too scared to notice). There were times where Tom has seen this face on his mother such as when he climbed the orchard's largest tree or when he and Joe returned home from school with bruised faces although she should've been happy they won a fight.

"In all truth, Mrs. Blake, I haven't seen this in all my years of experience. It's extraordinarily rare but we have treatments for this type of schizophrenia," the psychiatrist says, placing his pen down against his clipboard. "I wouldn't worry too much."

"Oh, I'll worry every day, doctor. What if he develops an"--she looks down at Tom briefly--"an addiction or another illness?"

"These are antipsychotic drugs; this is all to benefit Tom's health. The likelihood of developing another illness can happen, though. If you start noticing signs then call me as soon as possible!"

Tom feels irritation build up at their ridiculous conversation. He's not ill nor will he become ill; this doctor is simply blinded, surely or why does he think he needs help when he explicitly said, "Scho protects me!", which should be something good right? It's the truth, anyway. In his "episodes", as they call it, he's staring at the said soldier's large, long, green clothed back as artillery fires somewhere he cannot see. And when he's hungry Tom doesn't have to move anywhere because Scho is putting a hand to his chest, confusing him at times but bringing a smile to his face when his sky eyes sees a piece of bread in the soldier's dirty hands. Scho is Tom's protector for sure, because no one's sheltered him as though he mattered so much (aside from times where Joe helps him fight bullies).

The thought of anyone trying to get rid of Scho is terrifying to the core, though.

" _Mum_ ," Tom drags, narrowing his eyes dangerously low at his feet. "I told you-"

"Look, Thomas Blake," Mrs. Blake turns to him and grabs both of his hands, "Scho isn't real. He cannot hurt you or scare you, or--"

Tom quickly yanks his hands away and stands; "You're not hearing me out, Mum! I'm _not_ scared of Scho!"

"What are you afraid of then?" the man asks, tapping his clipboard.

Tom's lips twitch not in anger but in weary. He's worried if they really do get rid of Scho, if he won't see him again. It's not only terrifying, it's the sadness that threatens him every now and then at the possibility. However, the thought of them getting rid of Scho is overpowered by another horrible thought.

"I'm... I'm scared at the idea of Scho disappearing o-one day or something," Tom says weakly, twiddling his fingers.

"Why would he leave?"

The room seems to be even more quiet from the start, or so it appears to Tom at that moment. His lips pull back into a frown, his blue eyes shaking--he's still not ready to accept what he thinks. Tom lifts his head, staring out the bright window of which perfectly portrays a field of grass and trees. His mouth then opens, lips dry and almost quivering.

"I think he's terrified of _me_ ," Tom says in a slow whisper, eyes wide as ever.

Soon enough, Mrs. Blake and Tom are walking out the building. Tom isn't sure why his mother's grip is still tight as they're already away from that doctor and his medicine, but he doesn't mention a thing about it. Instead, when they both reach their old, rusty car, Tom hand reaches toward a small action figure, making _swoosh_ and _booming_ voices. It's like that until they're on the road and driving home.

. . .

"Here you go, it says take one a day for a boy as young as you," his mother says, squinting her eyes at the labels and muttering an almost silent "what a stupid man to suggest pills for my boy" _._

She places one tablet in his cupped hands and goes back to reading the labels quickly. Tom sneaks a quick glance before using his empty hand to put the "pill" in his mouth and the other to smoothly place the actual pill in his pocket to later flush away. He does all of that just in time when his mother gives him a cup of tea.

"Drink it down with this, dear."

Tom grabs the cup with both of his hands and takes a loud sip, earning a look from his mother before removing with a smack of his lips.

"Alright, then. Is that all? May I go to my room now?" Tom asks impatiently to which makes Mrs. Blake scoff playfully and waves him in dismiss.

Tom smiles in victory and proceeds to his room almost too quickly, which seems a bit suspicious to Mrs. Blake as she calls for Tom again. When he hears her high, all too knowing voice, his heart falls in his stomach.

"Y-yes, Mum.. ?" Tom walks up to her with a pale face, as if he's caught already.

Her hands stay at her hips, staring down at her youngest with half-lidded eyes. "Lift your tongue, Tom."

Knowing she demands him to lift his tongue instead of emptying out his pockets gives the chance for all color to return to his face in relief. Tom does as told with a small chuckle, teasing eyes looking at her now relaxed expression. He expects to be dismissed now but his mother grabs him by the shoulders and kneels down, a sad look on her face now. At that moment he does then feel bad for tricking his mother but Tom isn't ready for this entirely new change.

"Let us hope the medication helps or it's my soul to forever curse your nightmares," she says, leaving Tom quiet for the rest day.

Later that night, Tom screams at the top of his lungs, springing from his bed and screaming, "Stop, stop, stop!"

The morning after is usually the worse for Tom, usually because he can’t remember what happens during his “episodes”. Most of the time he feels terribly bad for waking everyone up in the middle of the night while other days he joins reality once more and brushes the previous nights away as if it is just a simple poke to the arm.

This particular morning Tom feels especially bad, his actions of flushing away the pill replaying in his head as his own punishment, but he doesn’t think of the day he’ll tell his mother yet.

Tom sits down in the dining room and stares down at his clasped hands. His brother Joe comes to sit down soon after him, looking at Tom briefly before staring off into space. The silence is quite uncomfortable for the boy but he can’t think of anything to change that. To his honesty, he didn’t think it would turn out like this the next day.

A few more minutes fly and the boys’ mother comes into view and quickly turns her back to them as she works breakfast. Joe doesn’t seem to care; Tom cares.

Suddenly, Mrs. Blake is humming something lightly, unfamiliar to Tom. He doesn’t know whether she’s disappointed or not as her face has hardly been shown, at all. She doesn’t even dance as she hums even when his mother always dances to anything musically pleasing (and Tom’s not lying when he says the humming is sort of beautiful).

It all comes to him then: The doctor; the pills he flushed; Joe’s blank face; his mother’s unreadable, yet familiar behavior every morning; Scho—

The screeching sound of the old wooden chair being shoved backwards is loud for the birds outside to fly away. Tom runs out the room quicker than his mind tells him to, ignoring the way Joe looks at his panicking state and his now unmoving mother.  
  
Joe stares at the path in which his brother has disappeared to, his lips falling into a small, sad frown. He turns to his mother, opening his mouth and asking, “he didn’t sleep again, did he, Mum?”

She almost answers it but continues to hum, very aware of Tom’s panicky voice through the thin walls saying, “I’m not crazy!”


End file.
